Your Wedding Scentscape: 7 top tips to a planning a memory-making wedding

When planning your wedding, plan for the memories. One of the simplest ways to do that is to plan not only how your ceremony, and the celebration afterwards will look and feel, but also how it smells.
We recognise this in the importance that is given to still-life photographs including the signature perfurme chosen by the bride, and the cologne or aftershave chosen by the groom (though not so much, the latter).
Science tells us that smells trigger more vivid emotional memories and are better at inducing that feeling of “being brought back in time” than images.  Science also tells us that fragrances can have a powerful calming effect.

So it stands to reason that the fragrance of your wedding venue can really make a difference to the whole atmosphere of the day. This means not just choosing a personal fragrance, but planning your wedding scentscape. If you do this well, the scentscape of your wedding will bring back fond memories of your wedding day not just for you, and not just when you use that special (and usually costly) perfume on special occasions, such as your wedding anniversary,  when you want to feel reconnected to the love, joy, and excitement you felt on your wedding day, but for you and your guests for the rest of your lives.

What is a scentscape?

Think Scent + Scape (as in Land + Scape). The scent scape is an environment redolent with fragrances. At a wedding this will include the natural smells of the environment, your wedding flowers, the personal fragrance chosen by each of you, and the aromas of food and wine.

1. Think in terms of a wedding fragrance journey
When you're planning your wedding, you're planning a day that moves from ceremony to party. What scents will match up with each stage of the experience?  Zingy, interesting fragrances work well with the reception/party half of the day, but you might want to choose something more symbolic, something softer, for the ceremony. And don't forget lobbies and entrance halls. Walking through a more highly scented entrance before entering a space where the fragrance is more subtle is a great way to signal a change of pace.

2. Start with your venue(s)

After the date, the #1 priority for most couples is choosing the venue, or two, if you plan to have the ceremony and the reception in two different places. There is a long list of things you should consider before signing on the dotted line. And, if at all possible, a personal visit is a must. But it is very likely that your visit to venues will not coincide precisely with the time of the year and the time of the day you are planning to have your ceremony and reception. So you not only need to bring your sense of smell with you (and pay attention to it), but also ask questions such as to what is planted in and around the area you'll be using, whether what is planted is annual or perennial, and whether they have plans to change what is planted. Also ask what will be in flower when you plan to be married, and whether those flowers are scented. 

The time of day, as well as the season can make a difference. One of my favourite venues has jasmine prolifically growing over pergolas in the ceremony space. It looks so pretty during the daytime, but it is on summer nights that the full fragrance can be appreciated.

Allow the scents of your venue to guide your wedding style overall. A bush environment, redolent with the scent of eucalyptus, suggests a very different type of style to that of a lavender farm, for example.

3. Build a little list

A good preliminary step is for both of you to write a list of scents/smells that you really like (and any that trigger bad or unhappy memories), to use as a guide. Including a smell you associate with a loved one who is no longer with us can be a lovely, and private way of evoking their presence on you special day. Including a smell you associate with your first date, or the proposal, can add to the romance of the day.

4. Talk fragrance with your florist

Bridal bouquets were originally all about fragrance - the fragrance needed to mask unwashed bodies! So they were highly scented. While your bouquet and buttonholes or pocket posies no longer need to mask other smells, fragrance serves a powerful purpose. When talking with your florist about the flowers in the bouquets and buttonholes, talking about your preferred fragrances can help narrow down your floral choices - and can also be a great help in sticking to what is local and what is in season (both ways of keeping costs down). Unfortunately, many rose varieties, for example, bred to be long-lasting in a vase, have sacrificed perfume. Talking fragrances can help you have the flowers you like the look of, together with a subtle fragrance that will not only bring back great memories, it will be a calming influence on the day.

5. Co-ordinate

As the marrying couple, you are going to be side by side throughout your wedding, so make sure your signature fragrances complement one another. I'm told by fragrance experts that, while fragrance choice is a personal thing, brides are most likely to opt for floral scents, while grooms will tend to choose fresh ones. Generally speaking, these won't clash, but best to check - and not just by smelling what's in the bottle. Fragrances react with your personal body chemistry, so what smells great in the bottle can smell quite different on your body. And definitely coordinate bouquet, buttonholes, and signature fragrances. You're going for layering, not the wars of the noses.
 

6. Less is more
Even the most beautiful scent can become overpowering. I remember when I was at university, living in college, one of my friends received 144 red roses from the guy she was dating. In a small college room, the scent was unbearable, so they were put out in the corridor and spread around the college to reduce their impact! Advice to use room sprays and scented candles at the reception is common. But when you've taken care to choose a delicious menu, and the chefs have gone all out to produce a beautiful meal, you want your guests to savour the aroma of the food and the wine. So minimise the use of scented candles, for example.

7. Don't ignore ordinary "everyday" smells
Think about your favourite, everyday smells. Mine include the scent of rosemary, the smell of freshly washed sheets, and all of those wonderful citrus smells - orange, lemon, lime. The good news is that these are scents that don't compete big time with other fragrances, and they are all scents that can bring back loving memories on ordinary days, doing ordinary things. Here are some suggestions:

• Add fresh rosemary to the rose petals scattered on the aisle, include rosemary in your bouquet, the buttonholes, or a pocket posy for your groom. Rosemary is a traditional wedding herb signifying happy memories, loyalty, and faithfulness. Elizabethan brides carried rosemary to ensure faithfulness and keep their spouses from “forgetting” they were married! Rosemary is cheap and easy to work into table centrepieces, or to create lavish garlands.
• Don't go past mint - in Ancient Greece, Athenians wove mint and marigolds, which they believed to be aphrodisiacs, into bridal garlands and wreaths, mint features in quite a few cocktails, and on dinner plates with everything from lamb to salads.
• Orange blossom is the traditional bridal scent - from the days when brides wore wreaths of orange blossom as an emblem of innocence and chastity. But also, because the orange is one of the few plants that blooms and bears fruit at the same time, as a promise of future fertility. Citrus scents in general are fresh, and complement, rather than clash with floral scents and the aromas of food. The possibilities are endless.
• Freshly starched and ironed linen has its own subtle scent, that speaks of luxury and fine dining. But you can also lightly spritz a linen spray on tablecloths and napkins to link with your overall scentscape.
  
• Gum leaves!

Great Wedding Photographs Start in the Mind - Yours and the Photographer's

Photo Courtesy of Scott Lawler Photography

Every marrying couple wants great photos of  their wedding. That’s a given. And it doesn’t take a great deal of thought to work out that the quality of the photos is going to depend on the skill of the photographer(s).  

But you all know that. And definitely there are lots of really great photographers out there, each with their own style, which is directly influenced by their own mindset.

Because I stand to the side of the couple for most of the ceremony, I get a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ view of the photographer during the processional, throughout the ceremony, during the signing, during the recessional, when guests are congratulating the couple, the group photo and the first family/bridal party photos. I inwardly applaud when I see the photographer in tune with the emotions of the day - and I see that a lot - but my heart aches when I see missed photo-opportunities because of the mind-set of the photographer (this usually happens when the photographer has a mental list of standard shots)

Some examples of instances where I've noted photos of great potential were missed:

• The flower girl walking carefully down the aisle (got that one) and then launching herself at the groom with delight all over her face, grabbing his leg, and the loving interaction between them (missed all of those because he’d got the set shot and wasn’t even looking).
• The mothers lighting the unity candle (got that one), and then coming together in front of the table to give each other a warm hug (missed that one because he was checking the set photo on his camera)
• Each of the bridesmaids being warmly greeted by the groom when they have walked towards him before veering off to the side to stand in place, waiting for the bride (missed completely)
• The exchanges of loving glances between the bride and groom during the vows (missed completely (had taken one photo of the face of each individually and then wandered away, so no photo of the couple together while making their vows).
• The best man presenting the rings (stood in the aisle with an uninterrupted view but that shot obviously wasn’t on the list of set shots).

Clearly, good photos start with a clear understanding of the mindset of the photographer.  Make sure that you choose one who understands that to capture the joy of the day the photos need to record the emotions—not just the dresses, the flowers, the carefully composed still life arrangements of your accessories, the formal posed photos of individuals and groups.

But you can’t leave it at that. This is not a fashion shoot.  Of course, having spent a fortune on clothes, shoes and flowers you want those recorded, but that’s all it is, a record. The photos that will in later years recreate the emotion of the day will be the ones that capture your joy, not the stiff, formal poses.

The mindset of the marrying couple on the day is critical.

 

When you are having the formal shots taken, use mind-power to create the expressions on your face. A trick a photographer taught me years ago is don’t say cheese, yell knickers.

It is true everyone’s mouth forms the same smile as cheese but their eyes light up too. I had one groom who was incredibly nervous. Even at the signing it was showing on his face and the photographer was having difficulty getting him to smile. So I said quietly, “David, yell knickers”. He looked startled for a split second and then threw his head back and roared with laughter. Magic photo, capturing the joy and exhilaration of the moment, and the day.

So how can you create such moments for yourselves?

The before ceremony portraits can be particularly difficult, emotionally. You’re nervous, unsure of yourselves, and that can show on your faces. Forget the wistful neutral expression while gazing at your bouquet. Anticipate the ceremony. Think about the promises your beloved is going to make to you. Relive the proposal in your mind—and your emotions when the answer was yes.

During the ceremony allow yourself to experience your happiness. And don’t be too shy to express your feelings with a touch, with eye contact, with a big smile. It adds magic for everyone there, not just the photos.

During the formal after-ceremony photos, talk about the ceremony to each other. Relive the special moments:

• The reaction of the guests to the things you said to each other and those I, as your celebrant, shared about you
• Share what you felt as you were about to walk down the aisle or as you stood and watched your beloved walk towards you.
• Repeat a powerful statement from your vows—and do it with all the fervour and conviction of actually making them
• Tell your beloved how you felt when the ring was slipped on your finger
• Think about those people you wished could be at your ceremony, but weren’t—it might make you a little teary, but that’s good too.
• Talk a little bit dirty (you’ll need to be discreet but nothing will make your eyes sparkle more!)
• Have a laugh about anything that didn’t go to plan (something always does) - and enjoy the moment. It created a unique wedding memory and deserves to be recounted and enjoyed, after all, you’re married now, and that is all that counts.
• When having photos taken with family members, say something loving to them—thank your parents, reminisce with your siblings, tell your grandparents how important they are.

In years to come when you look at your photos you’ll be able to say to each other remember, that’s when you said ____ to me, and when that photo was taken I was thinking how lucky I was to be marrying you etc etc.

The whole range of your loving emotions and your loving connection to one another and to your family will be captured in your professional photos, and the photos taken by your guests will also be fantastic.